LIFE IS NOT FAIR FOR MINIONS

Those who don't have guts to play on W3Arena server don't know that community's favorite minion El Tonto aka Ghost.Retorno has an addictive habit to start every playing day with new account. And yea, if you were wondering thats me on the picture bashing the minion.

God knows how many times I killed the minion without knowledge that it is him, and I killed many incognito NE smurfers. Today he was on 2-0 solo account named Life.isnt.Fair which is quite an achievement for him. Looks like he was inspired by his own living experience when he was making it. Pretty ironic isn't it? Minion who spends his days hiding behind twisted nicknames and now and then getting lucky to snitch a win on maps that favor his race in every gaming aspect against players who are sun miles in front of him, still getting owned and stopped in his holy crusade in getting an account that meets the standards of his imagination. 

And how pathetic is that? He believes that he can be as good as the top players from the server and he tries every day to make that good start with X-0 stats that is highly appreciated among the wannabes. The minion doesn't understand that stats are not something you can build if you dispose with wishes and time. You need skill too. 

We matched on Secret Valley and I shouldn't say that every NE player who has two hands and basic game knowledge has massive advantage against any race there and especially against Human. Map is indeed a fuck up for my race and if I say that playing and owning any NE player on SV is easy I would lie. Moreover, owning a minion on his holy crusade and killing his dream for few hours was pretty hard.

I literally destroyed him in every part of the game. I prevented him from making his favorite Hunters hall by entering his base and killing his wisps. It is widely known that NE players like minion cannot multitask and that they are very fragile when they are on their creeping crusade. After killing his wisps and preventing him to get the sickest unit in the game - Dryad I decided to keep the sickest hero in game - Demon Hunter, small and below level six. I hunted him with militia over the map, I crept some spots that he should have crept and I controlled my MK like I played on freaking joystick and the only remark that I have on my gameplay is that I played ridle/casters. Well nobody is perfect.

Eventually, minion was forced to resign and die. But not before throwing a small flame with wannabe tone in a manner that some (and I underline this some because there are brilliant exceptions) newborn trollarena stars are very familiar with.

Now after you read the following paragraph, close your eyes and imagine the situation.

Imagine that you are El Tonto, the second little man of the biggest troll station called trollarena. In you lair you have power to change the fonts of the other trolls posts, write new posts and have custom icons that are reserved for the superior trolls and that is you. Not so long ago you were one of the top 20 players on official battle.net and you have beaten names like Rosoomak, X-Booster-X and other pros from the top ladder page. You are friends with the most active and respected community members like Melwin and Vlad(Kun) and you play the hardest race to play - NE. With that knowledge, experience and pedigree you decide to come on W3Arena and to beat the shit out of those legendary players. 

First day, you are on 3-0 right now. You search for 4th game. BAM! Dinker killed you! OMFG how is that possible!? You had NE on a NE map, item and tons of range units and you still lost. Nevermind he doesn't know it was you. Second day. You've beaten two players and account is on 2-0 right now. BAM! S_A_I_B_O_T pwned you like fuck! You are mad! They don't let you get your 5-0 solo account. WTF is their problem. You are fucking frustrated, starting new accounts every day getting nowhere. 

Every day the same scenario repeats and that is how it will be till the end of time my dear minion. Still, once in a while you'll snitch a win and you will celebrate with the rest of your troll-minion crew, happy as a monkey who just got the banana. 

Here is how the minions celebrate when they are having good time! From left to right: Melwin, Elder troll hb.thespecial, Vlad(Kun) and El Tonto!